What Are You Famous For?

Written by Alexis

If someone were to come up to you and tell you that you were going to be on Good Morning America tomorrow morning- what would it be for? What would you be on national TV for?

Last week, my English teacher told us in class that we were to write a poem on what we wanted to be famous for- would we be the pro-football quarterback on the back of milk cartons, or creepy next door neighbor with twelve cats? Would we be the pop superstar that you hear all over the radio, or the teenage checkout lady who won't stop smacking her spearmint bubble gum?

The minute she said to start, I looked around the classroom, and I could practically hear half of the people's thoughts either screaming "SUPERSTAR! SUPERSTAR!" or "QUARTERBACK! QUARTERBACK!" This assignment really got me thinking- this is so pointless because everyone wants to be in the public eye, or be recognized in some way. But, if we are all being honest- how many of us are going to be the next pop icon or pro football player? Seriously, if all of us were famous- the word famous wouldn't have the same value as it does.

Instead of writing about being a world known author- I wrote about being famous in my own way, right now. Being that person who always smiles at anyone who crosses their path. Who loves the people who love you the most. Who waves at the person with the frown on their face. Writing this poem made me realize that being famous doesn't mean everyone has to know your name, it just means that you made a difference in someones life.

So here is my poem, what I am famous for. What about you?

A Smile, a Kiss, a Wave
by Alexis Szoke

A smile,
A simple smile,
A simple smile smiling,
A simple smile smiling for the sake of simply smiling.

A kiss,
A gentle kiss,
A gentle kiss blown,
A gentle kiss blown to a desperate nobody across the room.

A wave,
A distant wave,
A distant wave traveling,
A distant wave traveling into the heart of the solemn sulker across the street.

That smile,
That simple smile,
That simple smile smiling,
That simple smile smiling back at the person who simply smiled forth.

That kiss,
That gentle kiss,
That gentle kiss touching,
That gentle kiss touching the face of a shy faced school girl sitting across the room.

That wave,
That silent wave,
That silent wave noticed,
That silent wave noticed by the solemn sulker waving back.

Being the You that You Were Meant to Be

Written by Alexis

More and more these days, I have heard my friends say, "God, I'm so fat!" or "Jeez, my clothes are so lame!" or "Man, my hair is so drab!" (Okay so we don't say drab, but you get the point!) But usually I see it as them to put themselves down so they can get compliments. Quite frankly, it typically annoys me. But lately, all of these girls who are saying this, aren't trying to get attention, it's that they really believe that they are fat, or lame, or drab. Well Houston, we have a problem.

You know, tweenism is a very impressionable age. We constantly are looking for someone to idolize, someone to follow. Many times this can be an actor, a singer, aunt, a cousin, or maybe even an older sibling. But whoever it is, we tend to want to be exactly like that person. So in the process there is constant comparing one's self to be that person- your hair, your clothing, your attitude, and even your figure.

Well parents, you're probably like, I tell my daughter is "Beautiful no matter what, so why would she have any reason to compare herself," right? Not right. You think we really care what our parents think of us? We are more concerned with what our friends are thinking, not our parents. I mean think about it, we come downstairs in our favorite outfit and our mom tells us, "Aw, you look so cute," the first thing we do is go back and change! Tweens don't want to hear they're CUTE from their mommy's! So why would we care if she told us we were "beautiful no matter what?" See where I'm getting at?

So if the power of moms words don't snap us out of it, what will? What can get these girls to stop thinking they are lame? Well, I believe its all physiological. The reason why they feel like this is because they know they are on the couch all day eating chips and their eyes sucked to the TV. So of course they are going to feel bad about themselves, because they know that there is so much more they could be doing.

So what's the first step? It is for parents, to make them get out and feel like they aren't being so lazy. I believe that when you go exercise, play sports, run, or even just take a walk, you feel like you just lost 100 pounds in itself. Now forgive my scientifical terms, but when you exercise, you sweat and when you sweat, that's when you feel the difference. Your skin pores open up, you feel like you really, truly worked out,- even if it was just a run- and you feel the 'lameness' practically slide right off your shoulders with everything else.

Step two is to eat right. When you eat cheesy puffs and pizza for all of course you're going to feel heavy and sluggish and insignificant. If you want to be a better YOU, you have to eat like a better you. Now I'm not saying go on a diet, (I actually think that tweens shouldn't try to put themselves on diets because since they are growing, the lack of nutrition and food will stunt your growth, but anyways) I'm saying feed your body with all the good stuff first so you feel good and like a better you and then, if you are still hungry have a cookie or something! I mean for goodness sakes we are technically still kids- not 40 year old woman here- cookies are still our friends! :D

And step three is get out of your head! When you compare yourself to other people- you naturally hate yourself more! Because when you compare yourself, you only focus on the bad parts of you. Which makes no sense, but for some reason that's just how it is. The minute you stop comparing yourself, stop criticizing your body, your hair, your clothing, your family, and everything else about your life you wish was different is the minute that you can let yourself be the best YOU that YOU were meant to be.

Dear Daddy Warbucks

Dear Daddy Warbucks
By Alexis

Dedicated to Papa John

Dear Daddy Warbucks oh the things you have done
You chose little Annie- you knew she was the one
The special little girl that tugged your heart strings
and seemed to have lit up your everything

Though im not little Annie and you're not my dad
But you have cared for me as your best little lad
We laugh and tease till our big bellies hurt
From 'knock knock whose there' to 'what's on your shirt'

You pretend to be tough with your big booming voice
And your cherry red face held up in a hoist
But looks don't fool me, I see right through
You're a big teddy bear if we're all being true

Good times, good times we say thinking back
We slap our thighs hard with a loud sounding WHACK!
Trueth to be told I can't recall what was said
But I know it was funny as i hop into bed

Alas Daddy Warbucks you do make me smile
And in this rinky dink town- it takes you for miles
But there must be a time when we bid our adu's
When saying goodbye my heart turns to blue

As a tear strikes my face and I can't help but cry
Dear Daddy Warbucks i want you to know why
That place in my heart- that belongs to you
Along with these three simple words - i love you

The Hilltop Oak Tree

A single hilltop oak tree
Locked tight to the earth,
Yet detached from everything

Hush
Hush

Everyone sees it
But no one can find me

Hush
Hush

As the day progress
Shadows cast
I remain undiscovered
Under the hilltop oak tree

Hush
Hush

--Alexis

Another Fabulous Poem

Written by Alexis

You stick to what you believe in
I always hear you say
That's what keeps you grounded
on the worst of day

It is the way that's right
and the only way at that
You filter out all other people
like you're some diplomat

I hate how you're not open
forever a closed door
If only you could see
it's all the same at the core

Religions should be pure
no guilt or exclusion
But the way you make it seem
there is only one conclusion

Remember when we were babies
and we had no opinion to tell
If only we could go back
to a world where no one yelled

Well, because this won't likely happen
You can at least try your best
To not just be open to your religion
But yours and all the rest.

--Alexis

Happy Mother's Day to Me

A Special Poem Written by Alexis

I have a special Hero

I have a special hero
a truely selfless soul
She tells me countless times
I only have one goal.

To help lift you bitty bird
to spread your wings and fly
So you do not need me
when I meet my eternal lie.

And to give to you your future,
to set you up for life
I promise I will make it, sweetie
and relieve us of our strife.

My goal bitty bee, when you're up and gone
is to be a friend for you
and give to you the support
you need to always make it through.

Because you see, darling child
you must understand
When I was young like you
I could not comprehend.

This was for I did not have a mother
no one to hold my hand.
Now, you see little girl
why I am here with you to the end.

As she would say these things to me
I could not help but make the connection
That she is the most unique hero of all
the one that provides protection.

She takes her personal experiences
and turns them into good
She learns her lessons
then passes onto me, while in my childhood.

All of us should respect
such a wise woman to learn from
But if you have not noticed already,
this woman is my Mom.

--Alexis

Mitch Albom Quote

Written by Leslie

Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it.
You're just passing it on to someone else.

Mitch Albom

Sleepy Classroom

Written by Alexis

Bedtime naps, but in the day
no light, no illuminous burning sun ray

With navy walls and comfy floors,
built-in pillows on the doors.
My eternal contentment is in my sleep
where I am lying down and off my feet.

I wish this is what a classroom could be,
this is a perfect classroom to me.

--Alexis

My Big Epiphany

Written by Alexis

So here I am one month and two weeks later. Different schedule, differnt habbits, different perspective. With a few arguements and plenty of focus I am back on track to a completely healthy tween. That wrecked teen bug is out of my system with a doctor signature. Since I have been back from spring break, I have been on top of my assignments- not one late so far this quarter- and my grades are all A's! It feels incredibly impowering to not get those dissapproving looks from mom, but instead, those proud smiles. Seeing my grades and my moms encouraging face, gives me not only a sense of accomplishment, but also a willing to do more.

There is a saying that when you do something the first time, the second and third time is only easier. It just takes a little push. By doing something over and over, it makes the next time that much more effortless. The problem is that many of us(yes even you moms!)give up the gave too quickly to see results. We get impatient and frustrated because it is "too hard", which believe me, this is my first reaction! But after a couple deep breaths and a few tears; I dust myself off, get focused, and try again. That is exactly what I did in this last month- dusted my self off, got focused, and tryed again. After the first week back to school of really being serious about my work, it only made the next four easier.

Exspecially for tweens, it's crucial to start developing your own personal study habbits. In an earilier entry, my mom talked about a certain way of studying that is proven to get the knowledge through our stubborn, distracted tween head. I applyed this to my dailly rutine. I would do my homework, pack my lunch, and review science notes, past math problems, literature questions, whatever was relevent to an upcoming test. Only three big, chapter tests (in these subjects) taken so far and I have aced every one of them! I highly recomend this way of studying!

Now as many of you know, I am not by any means an avid reader.

Out of all my grades, literature is probably my lowest. Books and I, we just aren't friends. Either I love 'em, or I hate 'em- no in between and it takes a lot of searching to find one I like. But lately, I have had this weird empowerment to read a variety of books. It could be my big epiphany or just getting lucky in the books I pick, but if you see a young girl at the library, yeah, that's me!

Okay so the book thing is a little cheesy, but it's true! Ever since my ahah moment, I feel so much clearer and more motovated to be diligent with my studies. Not to mention how much more time I have had on my hands!

And to think that it really is pretty simple of just deciding. It all starts when we get off our lazy bottom, stop pouting in the corner about how we "can't do something", and push ourself a little.

To kick that teen bug out of your system, all it takes is a little push.

She's a Talent!

Written by Leslie

One of my favorite things about my daughter is her modesty and humbleness. She reminds me of my own desire to have such a quiet leadership (working on it!! : ) keyword desire). Others are naturally drawn to her; longing for the same light that shines through her very core. Her writing skills exemplify her ability to connect on a deep, mature level by her ability to express an honesty that is unmatched for her age. She is an inspiration to me. This is just one of a few of her recent works.

I love you Bitty

and as always, proud.

Love Mom

The Rosemary Sea By Alexis

No troubles on The Rosemary Sea. It has gentle waves, as smoothe as silk and the hovering seagulls whispering in your ear, "Relax, little girl, you are safe".

As you look into the sky, a smoggy mist fills the horizon of the evergoing sea.

The Rosemary Sea is like a whirlpool of navy water, but never drawing you in. Like a carnival ride, it goes round and round, calmly spinning, keeping you at arms length at all times.

You feel motionless.

As your heart rate goes down, your breathing gets deeper as you drift asleep.

In your dreams, the thoughts of your most charished memories sickle back, dripping into your mind. It is as if someone is floating over you pouring your most personal memories into your head, but when you look out- no one.

But don't be scared, you are safe.

All is good in the world... this is where I belong.

--Alexis

Teen Bug

Written by Alexis

Well, if you have not noticed, lately I have not been writing in. To be honest, it has been a stagnent place of just not getting things right. I mean forgotten school assignments, forgetting chores, not doing what is expected, dropping things, friendship drama, and just a loss of who I thought I was. . My mom and I have butted heads on these circumstances several times lately.

I mean she knew that I was capable of being responsible..... I knew that I was capable of being responsible. That was who I was for my whole life. I was so used to hearing, "Oh, Lexi is so responsible!" But lately I have been hearing, "Lex, come on! I have told you this before, you need to be more on top of your work! Geez!". For some reason everything just changed...

If you haven't guessed it already, I had hit the start of a teenage personality. Even though I am still a tween, I have started developing teenage habits. Like being glued to my phone, blocking everyone out, not hearing people, rotten attitude, not helping out, laziness. I think all tweens go through this before actually becoming a teen. I call it the teen bug. Well, to be honest, it sucks! I feel like I can't do anything right! I mean I am constantly getting into arguements with mom- and if you have ever been in an arguement with her, you know you can never win!- and after awhile I felt like a loser. Defeated.

Being the prideful person I am, after a week of this nonsense I just had enough. I was tired of being a loser. So I turned off my computer, phone, and the TV- I had felt better already!- At that moment I decided to get all of my homework done and clean the dishes (without being told)

and read before my mom got home. I wanted to prove to her that things were going to be different this week. It was the start of a new attitude.

I knew that it was important to have that balance between work, school, and fun, so my mom and I decided that weekends are when we can bring out the phone, computer, and TV as long as I am concious about my responsibilities.

Now even though I was only stuck in this loser hole for like... a week, I realized how much being this lazy bum downs my energy. Although, when I corrected my faults, it made me feel so much better. Like these huge weights of stress had been lifted.

I knew that I had not all of the sudden changed to this teenage slacker.

It really is as if this bug has infected you and eats you alive until you officially become this lazy, egotistic person who does not have a care in the world for anything else but your social life. Yes, the bug had bitten me, but I caught it early and stopped it in its tracks. I know it will come back, but not today!

Today I am on cloud nine finishing my homework and writing (one of the many things that makes me feel good).

The only way to kill the bug is to realize it is there and just remind yourself that you are NOT a lazy, egotistic person and counteract it with being mindful of your responsibilities.

and....don't be suprised if your parents want you to get the teen bug vaccination frequently for years to come!

Best Practice

Written by Leslie

I recently learned a great tool that I believe could be very helpful with learning good study habits that promote better retention of new information. I, myself, never had the best study habits in taking midterms or exams. Often times, waiting until the last minute to study chapters upon chapters, notes upon notes with weeks having passed of initially learning the material. At this point, I had not retained much of what I had learned weeks prior, leaving me to relearn the material all over in a shorter span of time, drinking coffee to stay up late, and taking the exams with little or sometimes no rest.

AKA "cramming".

Studies show that the effects of these type of study habits leave a person retaining only 45% of new material learned. These same studies have been conducted over the years proving that distributed learning conditions resulted in better learning than massed practice conditions in performance on tests.

A typical example of distributed practice is:

6
3 3
2 2 2

group A was given material to study for 6 hours straight
group B was given the same material to study in two 3 hour increments
group C was given the same material to study in three 2 hour increments

Who do you think performed better when tested on the material studied?

Obviously group A are the "crammers"...my group : )

Group C were the best in distrubuting practice. Why? They had the longer rest periods resulting in better performance.

How can I, as a student, practice distributed practice?
Or, as a parent, encourage these study habits in my tween?

It takes determination and motivation on both the tween and parent's part.

The basics begin with attending class, taking notes and doing the reading.

So, let's say Week 1 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of the new material.
At the end of the week, set aside 15 minutes and review the notes and highlighted material from reading.

Week 2 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of this new material.
Now, at the end of week 2, set aside 20-30 minutes and not only review the notes and highlighted material from reading for week 1 but for week 2 as well.

Week 3 you attend class, take your notes, and do your reading of this new material.
The end of week 3, you guessed it-you set aside 40 minutes and review notes and highlighted material from Weeks 1, 2 and 3.

Continued through the midterm-by the time it's test time-NO CRAMMING is necessary. By this point, you've reviewed each week accordingly-you know the material. You're able to go to bed at a decent time, uncaffienated and worry free.

Trust me, by applying these new study habits, it creates a more stress free environment for the student and a happier parent!

This all sounds simple, however, for distributed practice to be successful, the student must be deligent in following his/her study schedule.

Some helpful hints:

• think of this study schedule as a work schedule-do not allow distractions-lock yourself in a library or quiet room
• take short breaks-after studying for 50 minutes, take a short 5-10 minute break and then return to your studying preferably onto a new subject
• try not to take classes that are similar if possible-sometimes similar material learned from one class may interfere with learning material from another class-not always the case, however try and take classes that are distinct from one another.

With Alexis approaching the 7th grade, I've been encouraging these study habits with her, knowing that we're approaching a new level of her education and whatever her study habits are now, they will be carried throughout her college years. It's easier to create good habits than to break bad ones. Start while they're young.

Whether you're a tween or an adult, this same principle can be applied with sports training, learning an instrument or learning new skills.

Whatever your practice, make it easier for yourself in the long-run by applying these tips!

Words from a recovering Crammer....

Speaking Up

Written by Alexis

So I think one of the hardest skills for a tween to learn is to be able to communicate. This seems to be a consistent theme that I have recognized in tweens. Not only with myself, but also with my friends, too.

Too many times I find I cannot speak my mind. I mean, I want to use my voice and it sounds good in theory, but when I am actually in front of the situation, I get insecure. Do you ever feel like that? And all you want to do is run to your mom and have her take care of it. Well, this is what I am talking about. Almost all tweens go through this. They are so dependent on their parents to be their voice for them and now all of the sudden, parents are saying, 'You are old enough to speak for yourself'. So then you go out and use your voice a bit too much and then you get in trouble for it! Now your parents say, 'What happened to that sweet innocent daughter I used to have?'. What is the right answer?

Well, a word to the parents, tweens do not really appreciate this. Tweenism is the stage where we are creating a life for ourselves, and when something bad happens, we will still want to run to parents to make it all better by listening.

It is hard to speak up, quite frankly. Even adults still have problems speaking their minds! So as a tween, -you are out of your skin enough- so of course you don't want to speak any more than you have to! Well, my mom and I have talked about this... and agree that I tend to hold back on speaking up. So now my mom is determined to get me to speak up. And to get to the point where I do not need her as my voice anymore. She is willing to do anything to help me grow into my own skin.

A few tips on feeling more comfortable when using my voice she gave was to 'put your head in your stomach'. This means that anytime you have to speak to someone, or even speaking in general, you imagine your head in your stomach so you are not speaking with your head. Speaking with your head is usually why there is conflict in the situation, but when you do not speak from your head, it can really come from the heart and truely be a meaningful and more passionate conversation. Which leads me to the next tip she gave me, speak from the heart. Meaning no blaming or accusing the other person. If you push your head, ego, and pride out of the way, you can really allow the truth to come out and for better understanding on the recieving persons end. Another tip she tells me is to ground myself when speaking to someone or a group. She tells me to plant my feet firm into the ground and imagine a cord from the ground, through my feet and up through my head. She says this connects me to my higher power and speaking my truth will be much easier when doing this. Sounds pretty basic, but these few tips alone have given me more confidence when speaking!

So try these tips out, they have helped so much with me! And if you have a conflict at school, home, or in any way, maybe take time to pre meditate what you want to say before you say it. It can make a huge difference, believe me!

Bringing in the New

Written by Alexis

Almost every tween eventually decides what no longer works for them and start bringing in the new. In all areas of their life; clothing, friendships, hair styles, bedroom decor. Of course, this is not a bad thing by any standards!If anything it is great! It can be a deifying moment for what works in your life, and what doesn't. I mean, just think of what our lives would be like if we never changed anything we did? Can you imagine? We would still be wearing diapers with pacifiers in our mouth. We have come a long way- baby to toddler, toddler to child, and now child to tween. I believe that with each leap we make through out lives, a change is made.

With this being said, tweens, ... it is time for a change. Literally, change of clothes, hair, bedroom, the whole shebang! It is the start of a whole new life to us and it is always easier to deal with when you feel great about yourself.

Now their of course are many variables in this whole makeover concept. By now, we can understand that the economy is down right now and the whole shebang can get a little bit pricey, but there are ways to get around this.

If anyone knows about shopping on a budget, it would be my mom and I! Going on 3 years of poor financial situations and we still have managed to enjoy life. One of our favorite stores is My Sisters Closet. It is a recycled clothing store, so you can even turn in all the clothes that don't fit you and aquire a credit. They have names like Abrecrombie, Juicy, and Hollister for low, low prices! Plus they even take beds and bedroom decor! You could even go to My Sisters Attic for more furniture for low prices! And moms, there is an adult section, too! It just keep getting better and better!

So for those tweens who need a change, if there is anything that you will thank me for it is this advise. Go out and enjoy yourself! Treat yourself to a day all about you! All of you tweens out there deserve it !

New Year, New Decade, New Beginnings

Written by Leslie

Taking what we've learned from our past experiences or in some cases letting go of what no longer serves us and moving forward into a hopeful tomorrow is the promising notion of a New Year.

Over this last decade I've focused on being the best mom to Alexis and my career. For me, the beauty of having a child in my early 20's and being a single mom has been that this child has experienced my ups, my downs- me at my best and most definately at my worst. She has evidenced life events with me that most children do not experience until they've reached young adulthood. I've given her the opportunity to learn some very valuable lessons through my own experiences; hopefully giving her a better sense of responsibility for her choices in life and showing her at the end of the day, it's the character demonstrated in these circumstances that is most important.

The last decade has brought many surprises. From building successful businesses yet failing at other business attempts. Falling hard in love to losing love. I've taken chances that most wouldn't dare, yet I've regretedly held myself back at other times. I've healed my relationship completely with my mom-bringing us closer together than ever, yet we unexpectedly lost my younger brother. Lex and I moved to California only to move back to Arizona a few years after. We've been broke to independently wealthy to losing it all. I've made some really great friendships, lost others, and rekindled many that I thought were gone.

This last decade has proven to me that sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down and to never congratulate yourself too much and definately to not self deprecate.

Remain humble and detached to outcomes.
Understanding that true success comes from experiencing failures while learning from both.

....very little surprises me anymore.

I've learned that no matter how certain I can be about what my future holds at times, I must remind myself that there is always a journey in getting there and the specifics are often altered by free-will and choice. This decade has taught me to be more patient with myself, with others and to not resist change. Knowing that embracing change brings opportunity for growth and expansion, the opportunity to explore who I am and to have more of an appreciation of what once was, for the by-product being today.

Uncertain of what the future holds, I'm learning. Learning to let go, learning to appreciate the NOW, knowing that in the big scheme of it all, it's what is guaranteed.

This moment, right now.

Through it all, the one thing that has remained constant is Alexis has always been my number one fan. To believe her when she says that I'm one of the most brave people she knows with "backbone", and that she's proud to call me her mom, gives me hope that taking chances is what life is all about and assuring me I haven't "damaged" her too bad in the process.

The connection with your child is what is most important, regardless of what life deals you.

This I know for certain.

I'm excited for the new year, the new decade and to new beginnings. To giving us a better life, giving back in a BIG way and to letting go and letting GOD.

2010-"Is the year of new beginnings, possibilities and opportunities.

Stay focused, hold the course, remain open and ready to soar". Leslie

Happy New Year!