Speaking Up

Written by Alexis

So I think one of the hardest skills for a tween to learn is to be able to communicate. This seems to be a consistent theme that I have recognized in tweens. Not only with myself, but also with my friends, too.

Too many times I find I cannot speak my mind. I mean, I want to use my voice and it sounds good in theory, but when I am actually in front of the situation, I get insecure. Do you ever feel like that? And all you want to do is run to your mom and have her take care of it. Well, this is what I am talking about. Almost all tweens go through this. They are so dependent on their parents to be their voice for them and now all of the sudden, parents are saying, 'You are old enough to speak for yourself'. So then you go out and use your voice a bit too much and then you get in trouble for it! Now your parents say, 'What happened to that sweet innocent daughter I used to have?'. What is the right answer?

Well, a word to the parents, tweens do not really appreciate this. Tweenism is the stage where we are creating a life for ourselves, and when something bad happens, we will still want to run to parents to make it all better by listening.

It is hard to speak up, quite frankly. Even adults still have problems speaking their minds! So as a tween, -you are out of your skin enough- so of course you don't want to speak any more than you have to! Well, my mom and I have talked about this... and agree that I tend to hold back on speaking up. So now my mom is determined to get me to speak up. And to get to the point where I do not need her as my voice anymore. She is willing to do anything to help me grow into my own skin.

A few tips on feeling more comfortable when using my voice she gave was to 'put your head in your stomach'. This means that anytime you have to speak to someone, or even speaking in general, you imagine your head in your stomach so you are not speaking with your head. Speaking with your head is usually why there is conflict in the situation, but when you do not speak from your head, it can really come from the heart and truely be a meaningful and more passionate conversation. Which leads me to the next tip she gave me, speak from the heart. Meaning no blaming or accusing the other person. If you push your head, ego, and pride out of the way, you can really allow the truth to come out and for better understanding on the recieving persons end. Another tip she tells me is to ground myself when speaking to someone or a group. She tells me to plant my feet firm into the ground and imagine a cord from the ground, through my feet and up through my head. She says this connects me to my higher power and speaking my truth will be much easier when doing this. Sounds pretty basic, but these few tips alone have given me more confidence when speaking!

So try these tips out, they have helped so much with me! And if you have a conflict at school, home, or in any way, maybe take time to pre meditate what you want to say before you say it. It can make a huge difference, believe me!