Love Is In the Air

Years ago, when considering the dreaded talk of the birds and bees with Alexis, I realized that this talk, (which most parents consider with careful dialogue) is probably not of less importance, but possibly of equal importance in understanding the foundation of love; love of self. Alexis at this age has expressed very little interest in boys and the ideals of love. However, I await the day some young, dapper lad catches her eye. My biggest hope is that he is just as spiritually aware and connected as I've instilled in her to be. Although I haven't been married, or shown much interest in attaching myself to another at this point of my journey, I do understand the upmost importance of preparing myself spiritually before committing in doing so. What I have learned is until you commit to yourself fully in Spirit, it makes for a tough foundation when loving others.

"What if You’re Not Spiritually Prepared? No matter how great two people are, both need to be spiritually prepared for a relationship to work. If not, the relationship is not necessarily doomed, but surely going to suffer under strains that could crack the foundation and bring it crumbling down. Think of it this way: would you start a business without the training and knowledge to run it? Would you build a house without being trained in construction? Would you perform medical procedures without medical training? Probably not—you’d know that most likely, the results could be disastrous. To be successful at a relationship, you need to prepare your spirit— the most important part of you for connecting with others.

What is Spiritual Preparation? Spiritual preparation doesn’t necessarily involve getting more religious or dogmatic. You don’t have to become a saint or wait until you’re as enlightened as the Buddha. The key to spiritual preparation is learning to know, accept and love yourself first. When you fix your relationship with yourself, you will be prepared for a healthy relationship with someone else.

What Does Spiritual Preparation Entail? People’s needs vary, but preparation generally begins with healing from the past— abuse, illness, or loss. It doesn’t necessarily mean being cured; if you have a chronic condition that is incurable, part of your preparation may be learning to accept it and go on with your life. The next stage is self-exploration; you go deep within to discover who you really are. There should be no judgment; it’s a process of honest discovery. Reflect on what you learn about yourself. Accept yourself as an imperfect but trying human being. If you have qualities you thought of as weaknesses, turn them around and look at them as strengths. Instead of considering stubbornness a hindrance, realize you can use that tenacity to focus and work toward your goals. Instead of thinking yourself as overly-sensitive, realize this quality makes you a compassionate human being. Make peace with yourself and who you are; and if there are things that you really don’t admire in yourself, begin working towards changing them. You are a work in progress. Finally, you need to examine and distinguish between what you want and what you need, and learn to accept that what you want is sometimes exactly what you don’t need. It’s important to know this so you can know what to look for in a lover. It’s important to find someone who shares your values, and shares your vision of the future, so you can move forward together on your paths, side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

 

What Happens When You’re Spiritually Prepared? Once you are spiritually prepared, you’ll find that the universe opens the door to a wealth of love for you. You’ll not only meet your potential life mate, but you’ll find you make friends more easily and even your relationship with family members will begin to improve. The single most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself; once you nurture and fix yourself, you will find it much easier to connect with others and nurture those relationships in a healthy way."

I personally have had a few relationships where me, as well as the other person, were far from leading our best lives and being connected to our higher self. However, we still chose to continue searching in all of the wrong places; specifically through each other. I've also had the opportunity in recent years to share myself in love but chose to reevaluate. I knew it was long overdue for me to understand that although he may be the love of my life, the love in my life was deeply lacking. I was simply running on empty. He was more than ready to share his life with another, I was far from it. I knew deep in my core I needed to heal, make peace with myself and work towards my best version because we both deserved more than the version I was at that stage in my life. Ultimately, he got what he wanted and I truely believe that I did too! Self love. As difficult as it was to make this choice at that time, the rewards have been exponential. By being true to myself; the healing, love for myself and the love that I give to others, the openness that I have, the peace I feel now...it has been worth the sacrifice. When you can be in love with Spirit, with yourself, and the present-moment after moment; THIS is true unconditional love. Nobody, not even the love of your life can love you back in this way until you find it in yourself first. The love that finds its way to you will be so much more rich and full because of the love you have awakened in your heart. So, my dear Bitty Bee. Although you're only just shy of 15 yrs old and many, many years from having to contemplate such things as the birds and the bees or those dirty, silly boys;in the meantime, take these words of advice from your mama and get yourself spiritually prepared! I promise you, it will be every bit worth the wait... Happy Valentines!!