Written by Leslie
One of my favorite things about my daughter is her modesty and humbleness. She reminds me of my own desire to have such a quiet leadership (working on it!! : ) keyword desire). Others are naturally drawn to her; longing for the same light that shines through her very core. Her writing skills exemplify her ability to connect on a deep, mature level by her ability to express an honesty that is unmatched for her age. She is an inspiration to me. This is just one of a few of her recent works.
I love you Bitty
and as always, proud.
Love Mom
The Rosemary Sea By Alexis
No troubles on The Rosemary Sea. It has gentle waves, as smoothe as silk and the hovering seagulls whispering in your ear, "Relax, little girl, you are safe".
As you look into the sky, a smoggy mist fills the horizon of the evergoing sea.
The Rosemary Sea is like a whirlpool of navy water, but never drawing you in. Like a carnival ride, it goes round and round, calmly spinning, keeping you at arms length at all times.
You feel motionless.
As your heart rate goes down, your breathing gets deeper as you drift asleep.
In your dreams, the thoughts of your most charished memories sickle back, dripping into your mind. It is as if someone is floating over you pouring your most personal memories into your head, but when you look out- no one.
But don't be scared, you are safe.
All is good in the world... this is where I belong.
--Alexis
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Teen Bug
Written by Alexis
Well, if you have not noticed, lately I have not been writing in. To be honest, it has been a stagnent place of just not getting things right. I mean forgotten school assignments, forgetting chores, not doing what is expected, dropping things, friendship drama, and just a loss of who I thought I was. . My mom and I have butted heads on these circumstances several times lately.
I mean she knew that I was capable of being responsible..... I knew that I was capable of being responsible. That was who I was for my whole life. I was so used to hearing, "Oh, Lexi is so responsible!" But lately I have been hearing, "Lex, come on! I have told you this before, you need to be more on top of your work! Geez!". For some reason everything just changed...
If you haven't guessed it already, I had hit the start of a teenage personality. Even though I am still a tween, I have started developing teenage habits. Like being glued to my phone, blocking everyone out, not hearing people, rotten attitude, not helping out, laziness. I think all tweens go through this before actually becoming a teen. I call it the teen bug. Well, to be honest, it sucks! I feel like I can't do anything right! I mean I am constantly getting into arguements with mom- and if you have ever been in an arguement with her, you know you can never win!- and after awhile I felt like a loser. Defeated.
Being the prideful person I am, after a week of this nonsense I just had enough. I was tired of being a loser. So I turned off my computer, phone, and the TV- I had felt better already!- At that moment I decided to get all of my homework done and clean the dishes (without being told)
and read before my mom got home. I wanted to prove to her that things were going to be different this week. It was the start of a new attitude.
I knew that it was important to have that balance between work, school, and fun, so my mom and I decided that weekends are when we can bring out the phone, computer, and TV as long as I am concious about my responsibilities.
Now even though I was only stuck in this loser hole for like... a week, I realized how much being this lazy bum downs my energy. Although, when I corrected my faults, it made me feel so much better. Like these huge weights of stress had been lifted.
I knew that I had not all of the sudden changed to this teenage slacker.
It really is as if this bug has infected you and eats you alive until you officially become this lazy, egotistic person who does not have a care in the world for anything else but your social life. Yes, the bug had bitten me, but I caught it early and stopped it in its tracks. I know it will come back, but not today!
Today I am on cloud nine finishing my homework and writing (one of the many things that makes me feel good).
The only way to kill the bug is to realize it is there and just remind yourself that you are NOT a lazy, egotistic person and counteract it with being mindful of your responsibilities.
and....don't be suprised if your parents want you to get the teen bug vaccination frequently for years to come!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Best Practice
Written by Leslie
I recently learned a great tool that I believe could be very helpful with learning good study habits that promote better retention of new information. I, myself, never had the best study habits in taking midterms or exams. Often times, waiting until the last minute to study chapters upon chapters, notes upon notes with weeks having passed of initially learning the material. At this point, I had not retained much of what I had learned weeks prior, leaving me to relearn the material all over in a shorter span of time, drinking coffee to stay up late, and taking the exams with little or sometimes no rest.
AKA "cramming".
Studies show that the effects of these type of study habits leave a person retaining only 45% of new material learned. These same studies have been conducted over the years proving that distributed learning conditions resulted in better learning than massed practice conditions in performance on tests.
A typical example of distributed practice is:
6
3 3
2 2 2
group A was given material to study for 6 hours straight
group B was given the same material to study in two 3 hour increments
group C was given the same material to study in three 2 hour increments
Who do you think performed better when tested on the material studied?
Obviously group A are the "crammers"...my group : )
Group C were the best in distrubuting practice. Why? They had the longer rest periods resulting in better performance.
How can I, as a student, practice distributed practice?
Or, as a parent, encourage these study habits in my tween?
It takes determination and motivation on both the tween and parent's part.
The basics begin with attending class, taking notes and doing the reading.
So, let's say Week 1 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of the new material.
At the end of the week, set aside 15 minutes and review the notes and highlighted material from reading.
Week 2 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of this new material.
Now, at the end of week 2, set aside 20-30 minutes and not only review the notes and highlighted material from reading for week 1 but for week 2 as well.
Week 3 you attend class, take your notes, and do your reading of this new material.
The end of week 3, you guessed it-you set aside 40 minutes and review notes and highlighted material from Weeks 1, 2 and 3.
Continued through the midterm-by the time it's test time-NO CRAMMING is necessary. By this point, you've reviewed each week accordingly-you know the material. You're able to go to bed at a decent time, uncaffienated and worry free.
Trust me, by applying these new study habits, it creates a more stress free environment for the student and a happier parent!
This all sounds simple, however, for distributed practice to be successful, the student must be deligent in following his/her study schedule.
Some helpful hints:
I recently learned a great tool that I believe could be very helpful with learning good study habits that promote better retention of new information. I, myself, never had the best study habits in taking midterms or exams. Often times, waiting until the last minute to study chapters upon chapters, notes upon notes with weeks having passed of initially learning the material. At this point, I had not retained much of what I had learned weeks prior, leaving me to relearn the material all over in a shorter span of time, drinking coffee to stay up late, and taking the exams with little or sometimes no rest.
AKA "cramming".
Studies show that the effects of these type of study habits leave a person retaining only 45% of new material learned. These same studies have been conducted over the years proving that distributed learning conditions resulted in better learning than massed practice conditions in performance on tests.
A typical example of distributed practice is:
6
3 3
2 2 2
group A was given material to study for 6 hours straight
group B was given the same material to study in two 3 hour increments
group C was given the same material to study in three 2 hour increments
Who do you think performed better when tested on the material studied?
Obviously group A are the "crammers"...my group : )
Group C were the best in distrubuting practice. Why? They had the longer rest periods resulting in better performance.
How can I, as a student, practice distributed practice?
Or, as a parent, encourage these study habits in my tween?
It takes determination and motivation on both the tween and parent's part.
The basics begin with attending class, taking notes and doing the reading.
So, let's say Week 1 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of the new material.
At the end of the week, set aside 15 minutes and review the notes and highlighted material from reading.
Week 2 you attend class, take your notes and do your reading of this new material.
Now, at the end of week 2, set aside 20-30 minutes and not only review the notes and highlighted material from reading for week 1 but for week 2 as well.
Week 3 you attend class, take your notes, and do your reading of this new material.
The end of week 3, you guessed it-you set aside 40 minutes and review notes and highlighted material from Weeks 1, 2 and 3.
Continued through the midterm-by the time it's test time-NO CRAMMING is necessary. By this point, you've reviewed each week accordingly-you know the material. You're able to go to bed at a decent time, uncaffienated and worry free.
Trust me, by applying these new study habits, it creates a more stress free environment for the student and a happier parent!
This all sounds simple, however, for distributed practice to be successful, the student must be deligent in following his/her study schedule.
Some helpful hints:
- think of this study schedule as a work schedule-do not allow distractions-lock yourself in a library or quiet room
- take short breaks-after studying for 50 minutes, take a short 5-10 minute break and then return to your studying preferably onto a new subject
- try not to take classes that are similar if possible-sometimes similar material learned from one class may interfere with learning material from another class-not always the case, however try and take classes that are distinct from one another.
With Alexis approaching the 7th grade, I've been encouraging these study habits with her, knowing that we're approaching a new level of her education and whatever her study habits are now, they will be carried throughout her college years. It's easier to create good habits than to break bad ones. Start while they're young.
Whether you're a tween or an adult, this same principle can be applied with sports training, learning an instrument or learning new skills.
Whatever your practice, make it easier for yourself in the long-run by applying these tips!
Words from a recovering Crammer....
Monday, January 18, 2010
Speaking Up
Written by Alexis
So I think one of the hardest skills for a tween to learn is to be able to communicate. This seems to be a consistent theme that I have recognized in tweens. Not only with myself, but also with my friends, too.
Too many times I find I cannot speak my mind. I mean, I want to use my voice and it sounds good in theory, but when I am actually in front of the situation, I get insecure. Do you ever feel like that? And all you want to do is run to your mom and have her take care of it. Well, this is what I am talking about. Almost all tweens go through this. They are so dependent on their parents to be their voice for them and now all of the sudden, parents are saying, 'You are old enough to speak for yourself'. So then you go out and use your voice a bit too much and then you get in trouble for it! Now your parents say, 'What happened to that sweet innocent daughter I used to have?'. What is the right answer?
Well, a word to the parents, tweens do not really appreciate this. Tweenism is the stage where we are creating a life for ourselves, and when something bad happens, we will still want to run to parents to make it all better by listening.
It is hard to speak up, quite frankly. Even adults still have problems speaking their minds! So as a tween, -you are out of your skin enough- so of course you don't want to speak any more than you have to! Well, my mom and I have talked about this... and agree that I tend to hold back on speaking up. So now my mom is determined to get me to speak up. And to get to the point where I do not need her as my voice anymore. She is willing to do anything to help me grow into my own skin.
A few tips on feeling more comfortable when using my voice she gave was to 'put your head in your stomach'. This means that anytime you have to speak to someone, or even speaking in general, you imagine your head in your stomach so you are not speaking with your head. Speaking with your head is usually why there is conflict in the situation, but when you do not speak from your head, it can really come from the 
heart and truely be a meaningful and more passionate conversation. Which leads me to the next tip she gave me, speak from the heart. Meaning no blaming or accusing the other person. If you push your head, ego, and pride out of the way, you can really allow the truth to come out and for better understanding on the recieving persons end. Another tip she tells me is to ground myself when speaking to someone or a group. She tells me to plant my feet firm into the ground and imagine a cord from the ground, through my feet and up through my head. She says this connects me to my higher power and speaking my truth will be much easier when doing this. Sounds pretty basic, but these few tips alone have given me more confidence when speaking!
heart and truely be a meaningful and more passionate conversation. Which leads me to the next tip she gave me, speak from the heart. Meaning no blaming or accusing the other person. If you push your head, ego, and pride out of the way, you can really allow the truth to come out and for better understanding on the recieving persons end. Another tip she tells me is to ground myself when speaking to someone or a group. She tells me to plant my feet firm into the ground and imagine a cord from the ground, through my feet and up through my head. She says this connects me to my higher power and speaking my truth will be much easier when doing this. Sounds pretty basic, but these few tips alone have given me more confidence when speaking!So try these tips out, they have helped so much with me! And if you have a conflict at school, home, or in any way, maybe take time to pre meditate what you want to say before you say it. It can make a huge difference, believe me!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Bringing in the New
Written by Alexis
If anyone knows about shopping on a budget, it would be my mom and I! Going on 3 years of poor financial situations and we still have managed to enjoy life. One of our favorite stores is My Sisters Closet. It is a recycled clothing store, so you can even turn in all the clothes that don't fit you and aquire a credit. They have names like Abrecrombie, Juicy, and Hollister for low, low prices! Plus they even take beds and bedroom decor! You could even go to My Sisters Attic for more furniture for low prices! And moms, there is an adult section, too! It just keep getting better and better!
Almost every tween eventually decides what no longer works for them and start bringing in the new. In all areas of their life; clothing, friendships, hair styles, bedroom decor. Of course, this is not a bad thing by any standards!If anything it is great! It can be a deifying moment for what works in your life, and what doesn't. I mean, just think of what our lives would be like if we never changed anything we did? Can you imagine? We would still be wearing diapers with pacifiers in our mouth. We have come a long way- baby to toddler, toddler to child, and now child to tween. I believe that with each leap we make through out lives, a change is made.
With this being said, tweens, ... it is time for a change. Literally, change of clothes, hair, bedroom, the whole shebang! It is the start of a whole new life to us and it is always easier to deal with when you feel great about yourself.
Now their of course are many variables in this whole makeover concept. By now, we can understand that the economy is down right now and the whole shebang can get a little bit pricey, but there are ways to get around this.
If anyone knows about shopping on a budget, it would be my mom and I! Going on 3 years of poor financial situations and we still have managed to enjoy life. One of our favorite stores is My Sisters Closet. It is a recycled clothing store, so you can even turn in all the clothes that don't fit you and aquire a credit. They have names like Abrecrombie, Juicy, and Hollister for low, low prices! Plus they even take beds and bedroom decor! You could even go to My Sisters Attic for more furniture for low prices! And moms, there is an adult section, too! It just keep getting better and better!
So for those tweens who need a change, if there is anything that you will thank me for it is this advise. Go out and enjoy yourself! Treat yourself to a day all about you! All of you tweens out there deserve it !
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year, New Decade, New Beginnings
Written by Leslie
Taking what we've learned from our past experiences or in some cases letting go of what no longer serves us and moving forward into a hopeful tomorrow is the promising notion of a New Year.
Over this last decade I've focused on being the best mom to Alexis and my career. For me, the beauty of having a child in my early 20's and being a single mom has been that this child has experienced my ups, my downs- me at my best and most definately at my worst. She has evidenced life events with me that most children do not experience until they've reached young adulthood. I've given her the opportunity to learn some very valuable lessons through my own experiences; hopefully giving her a better sense of responsibility for her choices in life and showing her at the end of the day, it's the character demonstrated in these circumstances that is most important.
The last decade has brought many surprises. From building successful businesses yet failing at other business attempts. Falling hard in love to losing love. I've taken chances that most wouldn't dare, yet I've regretedly held myself back at other times. I've healed my relationship completely with my mom-bringing us closer together than ever, yet we unexpectedly lost my younger brother. Lex and I moved to California only to move back to Arizona a few years after. We've been broke to independently wealthy to losing it all. I've made some really great friendships, lost others, and rekindled many that I thought were gone.
This last decade has proven to me that sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down and to never congratulate yourself too much and definately to not self deprecate.
Remain humble and detached to outcomes.
Understanding that true success comes from experiencing failures while learning from both.
....very little surprises me anymore.
I've learned that no matter how certain I can be about what my future holds at times, I must remind myself that there is always a journey in getting there and the specifics are often altered by free-will and choice. This decade has taught me to be more patient with myself, with others and to not resist change. Knowing that embracing change brings opportunity for growth and expansion, the opportunity to explore who I am and to have more of an appreciation of what once was, for the by-product being today.
Uncertain of what the future holds, I'm learning. Learning to let go, learning to appreciate the NOW, knowing that in the big scheme of it all, it's what is guaranteed.
This moment, right now.
Through it all, the one thing that has remained constant is Alexis has always been my number one fan. To believe her when she says that I'm one of the most brave people she knows with "backbone", and that she's proud to call me her mom, gives me hope that taking chances is what life is all about and assuring me I haven't "damaged" her too bad in the process.
The connection with your child is what is most important, regardless of what life deals you.
This I know for certain.
I'm excited for the new year, the new decade and to new beginnings. To giving us a better life, giving back in a BIG way and to letting go and letting GOD.
2010-"Is the year of new beginnings, possibilities and opportunities.
Stay focused, hold the course, remain open and ready to soar". Leslie
Happy New Year!
Over this last decade I've focused on being the best mom to Alexis and my career. For me, the beauty of having a child in my early 20's and being a single mom has been that this child has experienced my ups, my downs- me at my best and most definately at my worst. She has evidenced life events with me that most children do not experience until they've reached young adulthood. I've given her the opportunity to learn some very valuable lessons through my own experiences; hopefully giving her a better sense of responsibility for her choices in life and showing her at the end of the day, it's the character demonstrated in these circumstances that is most important.
The last decade has brought many surprises. From building successful businesses yet failing at other business attempts. Falling hard in love to losing love. I've taken chances that most wouldn't dare, yet I've regretedly held myself back at other times. I've healed my relationship completely with my mom-bringing us closer together than ever, yet we unexpectedly lost my younger brother. Lex and I moved to California only to move back to Arizona a few years after. We've been broke to independently wealthy to losing it all. I've made some really great friendships, lost others, and rekindled many that I thought were gone.
This last decade has proven to me that sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down and to never congratulate yourself too much and definately to not self deprecate.
Remain humble and detached to outcomes.
Understanding that true success comes from experiencing failures while learning from both.
....very little surprises me anymore.
I've learned that no matter how certain I can be about what my future holds at times, I must remind myself that there is always a journey in getting there and the specifics are often altered by free-will and choice. This decade has taught me to be more patient with myself, with others and to not resist change. Knowing that embracing change brings opportunity for growth and expansion, the opportunity to explore who I am and to have more of an appreciation of what once was, for the by-product being today.
Uncertain of what the future holds, I'm learning. Learning to let go, learning to appreciate the NOW, knowing that in the big scheme of it all, it's what is guaranteed.
This moment, right now.
Through it all, the one thing that has remained constant is Alexis has always been my number one fan. To believe her when she says that I'm one of the most brave people she knows with "backbone", and that she's proud to call me her mom, gives me hope that taking chances is what life is all about and assuring me I haven't "damaged" her too bad in the process.
The connection with your child is what is most important, regardless of what life deals you.
This I know for certain.
I'm excited for the new year, the new decade and to new beginnings. To giving us a better life, giving back in a BIG way and to letting go and letting GOD.
2010-"Is the year of new beginnings, possibilities and opportunities.
Stay focused, hold the course, remain open and ready to soar". Leslie
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Time Management
Written by Alexis
As you journey through tweenism, I think one of the most important lesson and skills we develop is time management. Time management is all about finding a happy medium* with your priorities and pleasures. For instance, if you get home from school and you have a lot of homework to do, but you really want to go play soccer with your friends. What do you do? The first thing you have to do is define your priority from your pleasure. Well, in this situation your priority would be your homework and your pleasure would be playing soccer with your friends. The next thing you have to do is find your happy medium between the two- it is just like compromising. It is as simple as telling your friends that you will play when all your homework is done.
Time management will help you not only now, but also in the long run. With your work life, your social life, school life, and home life. This skill is something I, myself have not mastered!
I just resently got The Sims 3 for Christmas- it is awesome- and the first night I played on it from 7pm to 2am. Reguardless this was my first time playing on it, it was still a lot. I mean when I stopped, my eyes were bloodshot! My mom told me that if I wanted to keep this game, I was going to have to still keep my priorities in check. This meant if I want to play, all my homework and chores would have to be taken care of. I understood this... didn't like it, but I understood it!...mom doesn't bluff!
If we as tweens get this skill down at a young age, this could be a skill lead by example with our own children and them applying it to their children from a young age, and them applying it to their.... your great-grandchildren! I mean time management is a skill that most adults do not even have down! And to think we would be one step ahead of the game!
A few tips that helps me:
1. Start with daily list.
2. Set daily goals, and action lists to reach these goals
3. Prioritize-for me it's family first, school second, play time last
It all starts when we decide.
Or in my case it takes a little push from mom.
* happy medium- (n.) a satisfactory comprimise
As you journey through tweenism, I think one of the most important lesson and skills we develop is time management. Time management is all about finding a happy medium* with your priorities and pleasures. For instance, if you get home from school and you have a lot of homework to do, but you really want to go play soccer with your friends. What do you do? The first thing you have to do is define your priority from your pleasure. Well, in this situation your priority would be your homework and your pleasure would be playing soccer with your friends. The next thing you have to do is find your happy medium between the two- it is just like compromising. It is as simple as telling your friends that you will play when all your homework is done.
Time management will help you not only now, but also in the long run. With your work life, your social life, school life, and home life. This skill is something I, myself have not mastered!
I just resently got The Sims 3 for Christmas- it is awesome- and the first night I played on it from 7pm to 2am. Reguardless this was my first time playing on it, it was still a lot. I mean when I stopped, my eyes were bloodshot! My mom told me that if I wanted to keep this game, I was going to have to still keep my priorities in check. This meant if I want to play, all my homework and chores would have to be taken care of. I understood this... didn't like it, but I understood it!...mom doesn't bluff!
If we as tweens get this skill down at a young age, this could be a skill lead by example with our own children and them applying it to their children from a young age, and them applying it to their.... your great-grandchildren! I mean time management is a skill that most adults do not even have down! And to think we would be one step ahead of the game!
A few tips that helps me:
1. Start with daily list.
2. Set daily goals, and action lists to reach these goals
3. Prioritize-for me it's family first, school second, play time last
It all starts when we decide.
Or in my case it takes a little push from mom.
* happy medium- (n.) a satisfactory comprimise
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