PART 1
Halloween my favorite holiday. Staying up late, hanging out with friends, creativity oozing from the costumes, I cant pass. Kids call it socializing city, parents a disaster waiting to happen! What parents-especially moms- do not realize is the transition crisis their little bitties go through. Before the kids get to actually enjoy themselves, kids - often around the age of 9 or 10 (tweens)- start getting conscious about their costume. Who are my friends being? Is my costume too kid-ish? Believe me I have hit that marker! This is nothing out of the ordinary! But there are a few things you might want to take into consideration.
The biggest thing a tween -especially a girl- needs is the moms or parents support. No different in this subject either. Even if the mom sees their tween girl trying to get out of the annual trick-or-treating get together with the neighbors, do not be alarmed! The girl might just want to hang out with a different crowd from school. Or maybe her friends are not going so she won't. This is okay. It is just her way of growing up and trying new things. As the mom, do not start reminiscing about when they used to... or when it was so cute when they... . I mean you can, but please do not express it to the tween because the tween still plays off of your energy. So if your tween might let an occasional whatever, eye roll, or some attitude slip, mom, it is your job to express to us that this is something you do not like, but it is okay to do when she needs to express herself.Encourage her to communicate with you with what is going on. I mean I can tell when my mom is on a crabby episode which usually is from bad day. I let her cool down a bit, then go in to talk. It is more beneficial for your relationship to communicate this way, instead of yelling or having an attitude war. That way the tween feels more like their mom is trying to be their friend as opposed to an enemy.
So I have noticed with little kids that their opinion on Halloween is, they cannot wait for their costume and all the candy. Hanging out with friends, how cool the costume is, what they look like does not mean squat to them. I have noticed that as time progresses, we base our costumes and opinion off of friends or idols. Tweenism has kicked in when we kind of let go of trick or treating with mom and dad and prefer to go to a friends house or to just walk around people watching instead. We usually still dress up in a costume like a witch or something easy and trick or treating is still fun, but as long as friends are around, not younger siblings accounted for, and mom or dad either stays home or stays quiet. Moms, this is typically how it goes. It depends on when the tween decides to not participate. You are not the one who makes this decision! If you try to, the tween might be mad or feeling like they are being pushed too hard and rebel which could lead to a fight.
Mom and tween, you might be wondering if the tween wants to still go trick or treating, what the proper etiquette is or right types of outfits are. As a tween, I am currently going through this. I do not have all the answers, but here is what I think.
Costumes:
As far as costumes go, I do not think Hannah Montana costumes are“cool” unless you are trying to go as a joke- then it is okay. So any Tellie Tubbies or Power Ranger costumes like that are very kid-ish. Cool ones could be witches, vaporises (girl vampires), professions, etc. . When I say professions, I mean chefs, artists, athletes and stuff are cool. Also, if you dress up as a fairy, ladybug, bee, is okay, but as long as they are not too over the top- that in my mind is appropriate.
Etiquette:
For tweens, it really matters how polite you are. You do not have to be as polite as Queen Elizabath, but even Halloween etiquette reflects on how your parents raised you and how people (mainly adults) percieve you. Okay, so say you are at this house and some little toddlers come up behind you. What do you do?
Well, the polite thing to do would be let the kids go in front of you.The little kids have not been trick or treating any more than a couple of years so it would be fair to let them go ahead.
Honestly, you should really just go at a time where mostly older kids are out so you can avoid this.
Another polite thing to do when out trick or treating is to always say thank you to whoever gives you the candy. There is always that one person on the block who gives out apples or packing peanuts, but no matter what, you should always say thank you and happy Halloween or something.
*And moms, a lot of times when you praise your tween for thanking the person, such as saying, “That was very nice” the tween feels better about it and are encouraged. If your tween maybe forgets to say thank you, do not yell out, "say thank you!" When my mom does that loud enough for the person who receives it, I feel like I am not polite and I feel bad. Then when I say, “Oh yah, thank you” often, the person receiving responds, “Your welcome” with a pity chuckle. So I am not saying your tween feels like this and maybe you feel like it does not even matter, but this is how I sometimes feel.
Back to tween etiquette, after the night is over, it is always polite to thank your mom/parent/guardian, or friends mom/parent/guardian for taking you. This could just show how you are adjusting to tweenism (whether it is graceful or not) . If you give them just a, “Yah thanks, whatever” and do not look them in the eye or even look at them when you say this, they probably will not take much from this. But if you say, “Thank you very much I had a great time”and look at them in the eye, they will probably be impressed and feel more appreciated.
So Tweens, as you can see, etiquette, costumes, and just your attitude will play a lot in how you are perceived at Halloween. It is not that you need to be someone different than yourself, just be yourself and make sure you are manner conscious. Believe me, friends, family, and just adults in general will appreciate it and realize how mature you've become. Parents, understand that it is important in supporting your Tween in expressing themselves not only with their costumes choice but believing that you've taught them well in their mannerisms and wanting to be more independent on this holiday.
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